What is WRONG with us.

Welcome beautiful besties! I hope your week is going well so far. Were going to start with a check in with some polls before we get into the blog!

How are you feeling today?

• Great!
• Its just another day.
• Not so great..

Did something happen today that affected this answer?

• Yes, something good happened and brightened my mood!
• Yes, something happened and not I'm not feeling great.
• No, nothing happened, I'm just happy!
• No, nothing happened, I'm just feeling down.

How are you taking care of yourself today?

• Working out/movement
• Fueling my body properly
• Doing my favorite hobby
• All of the above!

I hope you are feeling more checked in! Now back to the post. I have seen so many negative things on social media, hearing comments from people, and even discussing with bullying with my clients. I am feeling so sad and angry at the same time for humanity. This post is going to have two parts.. part one will be more of an explanation of what I have seen and heard, while the second part will be geared towards fixing our perspectives while were behind a screen or catching ourselves judging other people and how to change the narrative, as well as what to do if you hear someone else saying something nasty.

So what's with this post?

I am appalled at the things I have seen or heard the past week. Starting off with the craziest, I just started working at a new gym and in the work group chat, one coworker was making fun of the clients they were signing up. This included phrases about peoples diets, hair, and weight. I probably can't say more than that, but I was so disgusted by this and shocked the general manager was allowing this to happen. The particular person is in power, so I am in a tough situation for sure. I was so shocked and angry, but the only thing I can do is promote kindness and keep record just incase I need it in the future.

Another issue is what I have seen on social media. People share "Here's what I ate in a day while trying to be binge free" and the comments are horrid. Telling people to not eat, criticizing what they shared, what they looked like, and even saying "Try fasting, its not that hard". Do people not know that eating disorders are extremely common and VERY sensitive? Also, which binge eating disorder, this usually is on foods they are trying to avoid because they view it as "bad". In reality, no food is good or bad. Some foods are more nutrient dense, less processed, and easier to digest than others, but everything is good in moderation. Negative comments are constantly being shared on posts about nutrition, working out, outfit videos, etc. Its truly upsetting that people decide to share hate rather than continuing on the path of doom scrolling.

Last and most important, TWO of my clients have traumas with men, one is only 12 years old. Social media has sexualized women (AND CHILDREN) more than we were sexualized before. I personally was asked if I wanted to have a sugar daddy, or if I wanted to be "taught" when I was a literal child at age 15. Everyone promotes "feminist" ideas by posting sexy pictures or videos, dressing with as little clothes as possible, and although its great we CAN do it, doesn't mean we should because it could attract the wrong attention on social media because its extremely scary who can access your information. There's a lot of creepy people out there, so please be careful.

Now, on to the solutions.

This fact kind of sucks, but everyone judges. This can be as small as "they're talking too loud in the grocery store", "she's very sunburnt", and "that's a bad BBL". Trust me, I think all of these too. I was working out in my apartment gym and a man walked in talking on speaker on the phone. I was so annoyed I left pretty quickly, leaving a very valuable item in the gym. I realized it was gone, and went back to find it gone. Of course, I assumed he saw me drop it and stole it to pawn, yet he turned it in to the leasing office and is such a nice person. I've seen the absolute worst Brazilian butt lift, and I mean BAD. she had really botched lips, and a big booty with the smallest legs. I caught myself judging her and changed those thoughts to "I feel bad she thinks she needs those procedures". She's probably hurting and not feeling pretty enough, and she would have been truly beautiful without her enhancements.

That brings us to our first solution.. if you catch yourself judging someone, remember they are A PERSON. Everyone is uniquely complicated. we have our own struggles, insecurities, hobbies, values, and beliefs. They have feelings just like you, so be kind with your words and thoughts. I have commented on someone's post before "This makes me sad". It was a photo showing an extremely small body in workout clothes, and I assumed it was a fitness account. I was sad because this person was "promoting and eating disorder saying its fitness". She reached out asking why I left that comment, and my heart sank when I clicked on the page and saw it was a fashion account. I left a comment quickly without realizing the pain I caused. She did share she's struggled long term with an ED and were now friends online, but I felt like absolute shit because I caused someone pain even though I didn't think much of it.

Remember, Your words carry power. I have heard countless people saying if their posts go viral, they do not look at the comments because people are so mean. In every post has someone behind it. Just ask yourself before you comment on social media, "How would I feel if I saw this comment on my little sisters post". I don't care if you don't have a sister, neither do I. Treating everyone with that love and care will make social media a better place.

If you hear or see a negative statement about someone, stand up for them. I failed to stand up for these new clients when someone was straight up bullying them in the work group chat. I now know next time I will respond. If you're on the other side of this and are constantly finding your personal thoughts are more judgmental, try to correct your judgmental thoughts in the moment. If it p[asses through your mind, correct it by thinking "I'm not sure why that thought came to my mind. This is a person who is living a separate life from mine. Their life does not affect mine at all, so why am I judging them/their lifestyle choices. They are a human being with emotions, unique hobbies, and are beautiful in their own way."

Correcting negative thoughts about other people, or even you, will rewire your brain to think differently.

Thank you guys for reading the post. I hope there's something here you can take away and apply top your lives. If you need anything, feel free to message me on Instagram, or through the connect section in the blog posts. All questions, prayer requests, or feedback are always appreciated!

Xx Rachel