How to Build Confidence
Confidence can be difficult at times. Are used to stand in front of the mirror and point out every little flaw I could see and try to change it. I was so upset that I had scars on my face from acne, that my stomach wasn’t flat, but I have cellulite, and even the way I walked. Five years ago I would not post many photos on social media because I thought I didn’t look perfect. My past self would not believe how much I have changed, and am sharing my story for the world to see. Since were a democracy, lets take a vote!
Do you struggle with Confidence?
all the time
only on certain days
when I look in the mirror
when I compare myself
How can you be confident when that voice in your head is telling you you’re not good enough? How can you be confident when you’re constantly comparing yourself to people you see on social media? How can you be confident when you’re standing in front of the mirror and picking yourself apart for every single thing that only you notice? I’ve been there before and it’s really difficult to navigate those feelings, but I have some tips to help you out!
Stop following people you compare yourself on social media
I used to follow Alexis Ren on Instagram. If you don’t know who Alexis Ren is, she is a beautiful woman inside and out who is a model and an actress. I followed her when she was dealing with an unhealthy relationship with food and I ended up talking about it later. I envied how she looked and wanted to look that way. Anytime I started to heal my relationship with food or exercise, I would see one of her posts and set it as my wallpaper for inspiration, which would set me back in my healing journey. The only way I stopped comparing myself to her was when I unfollowed her. I have nothing against Alexis Ren, she is very open about losing her mother, her eating disorder, and who she is on social media. Removing the person that you’re following on social media will prevent you from seeing their posts and going into that negative mindset. This doesn’t have to be with a famous model, it could be a friend. You can even have a conversation with them about your choice to unfollow them, and make sure they know it’s not personal! If they’re a good friend, they will understand and support you in that decision. If they don’t understand that and make it a big deal that your unfollowing them, they clearly care way more about social media then their friendships. They’re simply not worth your time.
2. Follow people who make you feel good about yourself.
Make sure to fill your feed with positive people who make you feel supported! This can be influencers, friends, pages, anything that makes you feel good about yourself and your interests. If you make social media a positive place to browse you’ll feel the difference. Social media is supposed to be fun and not taking too seriously! Like I said before I was always so anxious what I was going to post on social media and how many likes I would get when in reality that doesn’t matter at all! You should post what you want and not worry about how many people see it. Now if I see a photo of me and it’s not the most flattering angle, I posted anyway! There’s no need to withhold a photo or memory just because you’re human and have a body.
Some of my favorite people that helped me build up my confidence Instagram's:
girlfitmethod
carolineconneen
katelynnnolann
girlswithgoalspod
imsweatyandiknowit
spencer.barbosa
And I hope my account would help too! Follow @wellandfitt
3. Have a gratitude journal
Practicing gratitude will help you with your body, image and confidence! Once you realize everything you have to be grateful for, every flaw that you see, we’ll get smaller and smaller. Life is not about looking perfect, it’s about the memories you make along the way. Riding three things in the morning that you were grateful for can start your day off on a positive note! Remembering everything that you have (even if it’s not much) will slowly change your mindset! If you need a little bit of help on this, you the photo above! It is a 30 day plan that you can repeat each month to help you stay grateful! This might sound uncomfortable, but if you are struggling with confidence issues, you need to stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you’re good enough! If you say it out, loud confidently, you’ll start feeling it. Make a Reminders around your house, even if it’s a sticky note on the mirror saying “You are beautiful”. Sometimes, you need to remind your inner critic that it’s wrong. Saying “Stop” out loud is a technique you can use to stop negative self talk. It works for me even if I’m over thinking and spiraling. Your words are powerful, never forget that.
4. Surround yourself with positive people
Your friends should be supporting you and making you feel good about yourself! If they’re not doing that, you might want to keep them at an arms distance. I noticed, when I was surrounded by people who liked drama and would talk about about other people, I did not feel confident. I was not confident in myself, because of what they were saying about other people, and how they looked. I was not confident in our friendship. I was not confident to be myself around them out of fear for what they would say when I’m not there. When you remove those people from your life and add positive people to your life, everything becomes much more positive and happy. If people are talking about you, or anyone else, it shows a lot more about them than it does about the other person. They are clearly insecure about something and feels that they need to bring down others to feel better about themselves.
5. Pray
The biggest thing that helped me was leaning on Jesus. Remember that you are perfectly made and God does not make any mistakes. The beauty standard is always changing, and there is no need to try to chase it! Even if you were to achieve a beauty standard, a new one is going to emerge, and you will never be truly satisfied with who you are. Praying and asking for God to clear your mind of this negative self talk is powerful. Diving into scripture is powerful. The verse that I live by and remember quite often is Psalm 139:13-14. It says, “For you created my innermost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made your Works are wonderful. I know that full well.”
I hope you can take at least one of these tips with you today to help you gain confidence! You are beautiful and perfect, and remember to talk to yourself like you would your best friend! Don’t listen to that negative voice in your head, your thoughts are not facts.
Xx Rachel
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