How Nutrition Saved My Life.

Let's talk about nutrition! My fitness/food/nutrition journey was a windy and bumpy road, but I am overjoyed for how far I have come. We're about to get very vulnerable, so grab a snack, a glass of water, and lets get started.

I grew up in a very loving home. My parents would cook healthy breakfasts before me and my brother were off to school, lunchbox in hand with a balanced meal, and a homecooked dinner always full nutrients. We were always in sports to keep us active, and learned that movement is good for you. Despite all of this, I REALLY loved food. I was a chunky kid, and would eat more than a little girl needed, especially the snacks we didn't have in our home. Any time I would go to a friends home, their parents would offer chips and Oreos so I WOULD LOSE MY MIND! I even had a neighbor who would give me a bowl of Jif peanut butter and a spoon because we only had natural nut butters you needed to stir.

Not only did I really enjoy eating food, but I started getting bullied at a young age. In first grade on a field trip, I was wearing denim shorts and cute little white shoes and my best friend saying "Wow, you have the biggest thigs on the bus". I looked around to compare thighs that I never noticed before. My best friend stopped being nice to me because her friend said that I was too fat to be her friend. Remember people, this was in first grade! Imagine someone saying that to your kid?

I started finding comfort in food and would eat when I felt sad, ugly, mad, and even happy! Food was a friend who wouldn't leave me when I felt left out of the friend group. I gained more weight throughout elementary school which concerned my parents. Once I was in 6th grade, my parents purchased me a gym membership and I was dropped off at the gym after school to meet with a trainer or a workout class. This was not fun for me, and I was not enjoying the gym. I was simply seeing it as a punishment.

My parents enrolled me in a weight loss summer camp, which taught the kids how to eat, about nutrition, and kept us moving with fun activities all day. It was fun at first, but the girls there were mean to me, and even there I felt as if I didn't belong. I went to this camp for two summers, and it really taught me this was in my control. The issue I have with this is the exposure to eating disorders, sexual knowledge, and lack of supervision. The girls didn't accept me when I was overweight and seemed so young and innocent the first summer, and the second summer, didn't like me because I was at a "maintenance weight". Everyone knew when you were at a maintenance because you would get a special wrist band that allowed you to eat extra food. YIKES! Talk about teaching little kids how to have a toxic relationship with food!

In high school, even though I was slim, I had a "friend" who would make fun of my weight. At this point, I was counting calories at age fourteen, but my friends would roll their eyes and laugh when I mentioned nutrition facts off the top of my head (I can still do this too! I love nutrition facts, they can be so helpful). I was not surrounded by the right people, and began feeling shame for eating what I was bringing for lunch. I started throwing away food when I got to school so I couldn't eat it later. My junior year, I would eat a bag of baby carrots for lunch, and my new friends would glorify it by saying how healthy I was. I was constantly being complemented for losing weight from friends and family, and began to tie self worth by the number on the scale.

My my senior year, I would skip breakfast, eat a snack and lunch like carrots or fruit, and would eat dinner and purge. I was sticks and bones during prom, and even the summer after. I would skip so many meals before taking a photo for social media because I was gaining my value from others approval. Lets not get started on my mental health during this time, that's a whole other an of worms. It hit me one day that this was no way to live. I dove deeper in the bible and realized my worth came from the Lord and not my friends (I can talk more in depth about his in another post!). It took months, but I relearned everything about nutrition and the importance of fueling your body.

Then... COVID ruined it all. I was sitting way more and eating way more, and threw off my new passion for fitness and nutrition. I couldn't even walk at the beach where I lived without being yelled at by the cops. I was once again eating to feel better and honestly, just because I was so freaking bored. I lost my job, was doing college online, and I didn't get along with my roommates, like AT ALL! Finally, someone moved out and I was able to pick someone to share a room with, and I met my beautiful friend Anu. If it wasn't for her, I would have lost my mind in that beach house. I had more support and joy in that home, but everything was still closed, and snacks were just so good.

I ended up moving back with my parents for a year when school was still online. I was finally able to be back in a loving home with home cooked healthy meals and a loving family. Getting back in the gym wasn't easy, but I started learning the benefits of lifting and ignited that passion again. When school was back in person, I moved back to Long Beach to finish college and moved in with the wonderful Haidee. We share our love for the environment, sustainability, cooking, and even enrolled in a Yoga course at school together!

That's when I started my fitness page on Instagram and has been sharing my journey ever since. Now I am a certified personal trainer through NASM, and am currently working on my nutrition coach certification and online coaching. I am a substitute teacher currently and am looking for an Environmental Science job, but hopefully I'll be able to work from home and help design plans for people around the country in the future. Nutrition, food, and working out can be a very touchy subject, and my goal is to help as many people as possible, and make it a positive journey rather than the one I had.

If you made it to the end, you are a ROCKSTAR! Love you all so much, and thank you for allowing me to share my story!

Xx Rachel